If most male US voters believe that Donald Trump is respectful to women, how are they behaving in their own lives?
American men’s perception of what it means to respect women is deeply flawed, according to a recent New York Times/Siena poll. A majority of men in the US, when asked, said they believed Donald Trump either “a lot” or “somewhat” respected women. In stark contrast, fewer than one-third of women shared this opinion. This disparity in perception raises significant concerns about the broader societal understanding of respect and decency toward women.
The poll reveals a striking gender divide, with men overwhelmingly supporting Trump—particularly among white voters without college degrees—whereas women, especially those with higher education, lean toward Joe Biden. While this division underscores broader political trends, the larger issue is what these views say about the personal behavior of men, particularly those who support Trump. If they believe that a man with a history of derogatory comments, legal troubles, and controversial behavior toward women is respectful, it calls into question the standard of respect they apply in their own lives.
This disconnect between perception and reality also reflects a larger issue in American society: many men seem to be unable or unwilling to recognize the difference between respect and behavior that is harmful, dismissive, or objectifying. Trump’s behavior toward women—ranging from dismissive comments to outright accusations of abuse—has been well-documented, yet many of his supporters remain convinced of his respectfulness. This raises important questions about how they treat the women in their own lives and whether they recognize behaviors that constitute disrespect or mistreatment.
The poll results also underscore the power of political identity in shaping personal perceptions and beliefs. For many men, supporting Trump seems to involve excusing or overlooking his most controversial actions. This suggests that their understanding of respect may be colored more by political allegiance than by genuine concern for gender equality. As long as this blind spot persists, it becomes difficult to have productive conversations about the real, lived experiences of women in society and how respect should be defined and demonstrated.
Moreover, this issue highlights the need for a broader cultural shift in how respect for women is taught, understood, and embodied. If American men are confused about what it means to treat women with dignity, the implications are profound—not just for women’s rights but for relationships, workplace dynamics, and societal harmony. Respect cannot simply be a matter of supporting someone politically or endorsing their words; it must be reflected in consistent, everyday actions that affirm the worth and equality of women.
It’s clear that political leaders, and especially those with large followings like Trump, play a critical role in shaping societal norms. Trump’s behavior has given a green light to toxic masculinity and disrespectful behavior toward women, emboldening men who might otherwise question their actions. As long as these leaders remain unchallenged, the confusion about what it means to respect women will persist.
Ultimately, addressing this confusion requires a cultural reckoning, one that goes beyond polling numbers and addresses the root causes of why many American men cannot seem to grasp the basics of treating women with respect. It’s a reckoning that demands reflection, education, and, most importantly, accountability. Without it, the divide between how men and women perceive respect will only continue to widen.